To the surprise of many, and the growing alarm of local authorities, squirrels are attacking many, many people. These are not random, isolated incidents, but rather a series of highly coordinated and deeply unsettling assaults. The pattern is chillingly consistent: the small, furry rodents first appear on the pavement, meticulously drawing crude, yet unmistakable, acorn symbols in vibrant red chalk. This bizarre act is then followed by a tense, precisely timed ten-minute interval. As the clock ticks down, an eerie silence often descends, only to be shattered when the squirrels, with an unnerving precision and ferocity, breach the defenses of the nearby building. They then proceed to attack the unsuspecting people inside, leaving a trail of chaos and confusion. We don't exactly know why they're doing this. Theories abound, ranging from a sudden, widespread mutation, to an unknown environmental trigger, or even a highly organized, species-wide vendetta against humanity. The sheer audacity and strategic nature of these attacks defy all previous understanding of animal behavior. The use of chalk, a tool typically associated with human creativity, adds another layer of profound mystery to an already inexplicable situation. Are these symbols a declaration of war, a territorial marking, or something far more sinister? The questions are piling up faster than the incidents themselves. Local residents are living in fear, constantly scanning their surroundings for the tell-tale red chalk mark, knowing that it signals an imminent and terrifying encounter. The scientific community is scrambling for answers, but so far, every hypothesis has been met with more perplexing evidence. This unprecedented phenomenon has gripped the nation, and as the attacks continue to escalate, the need for understanding becomes ever more urgent. For more on this developing and truly bizarre story, we'll head to our field reporter, Bob.
Bob: Ok then this is pretty fucking obvious, are you actually serious, they want acorns, like this is so obvious
How is this channel still on the air-
Thats enough Bob, now onto the weather, most likel- huh, i just heard a bang, is that- an acorn, in red chalk? OH OH FUCK SOMEONE HELP! THE SQUIRRELS, HELP HELPPP HEL-
Tue Jan 23 2024
Idk if you'll dig through and see this but if you do Taco you're really talented and awesome ^^